You can touch my hair…


Or can you?

This is a conversation I’ve had with many women of color.

My personal feelings about it are no, you may not.




Please refrain from walking toward strangers and touching something that does not belong to you. Hands will likely be smacked.

Kinky hair need not be a major fascination to the point it’s put on display as if it is a museum exhibit that needs a sign asking patrons not to touch. 

Artist: Keturah Ariel




What say you?

See part one of You Can Touch My Hair here:

[youtuber youtube=’’]







2 responses to “You can touch my hair…”

  1. Shawn Avatar

    No, you cannot touch my hair. I don’t want to be mean, but past experiences have made me feel this way. There are a few instances that I can recall where people have asked to touch my hair, and when I allowed it I was left with a negative feeling.
    1. A close friend approached me after a party at my home and said “I haven’t had a chance to touch your hair” as if she was entitled to touch it and had been deprived of the experience. After I allowed her to touch it, she commented that she was surprised at how soft it was. I felt like she had preconceived notions about how my hair would feel, and only wanted to touch it to confirm them.
    2. A stranger approached me at my office one morning, complimented my curls, and asked how I achieved them. When I told her that they were my natural curls, she asked if she could touch them. My hair was wet because I had put some water in it to “awaken” it after sleeping on it all night. After touching my hair she exclaimed “You have something in it!” in such an accusatory tone that I was embarrassed. When I tried to explain to her that it was just water she gave me the “yeah right” look.
    3. After a social function, a woman that I have a passing familiarity with asked to touch my hair. I was wearing my hair in a tight, curly afro with a headband. She was very complimentary, but while touching my hair (using both hands) she pulled a little too hard which hurt, and totally ruined the roundness of my afro. She raked her fingers through the sections that she picked up and pulled separating the curls like a pick. I don’t think that she meant any harm, but I felt so uncomfortable afterwards not knowing how my hair looked.
    If asked in the future, I will politely say no.

    1. MyNaturalReality Avatar

      I totally understand…and some people are just touchy-feely kinda people. I happen to not be 🙂

      And when it comes to curl pattern or definition, someone might touch it and put my curls out of place. I’ve had a family member like run her fingers through my hair. WHOA cat, I don’t even run my fingers through my hair unless I’m detangling lol