Finding the positive 1


Breaking up is hard to do and unless you live a secluded life in a cave, you’ve been through a break up. Some are easy to get over but others take time. Women and men need ways to get through the heartache.

Before we dive into the tips for a regular breakup, if you are reading this and have recently suffered a marriage breakdown then there are a few extra things you might need. Firstly, a good lawyer such as Nathens, Siegel LLP, a Toronto divorce law firm is a great idea to get, so that you can reduce the time spent dealing with the technicalities of the marriage breakdown. Secondly, some people go to counselors, after this has happened, so that they can resolve any inner conflicts that they may have within themselves because after all a marriage breakdown is a form of grief and should not be treated any other way. Patience is key, even if it is painful at the time. In addition, here are a few other tips for getting through a breakup.


Our perception can be fuzzy when we’re blindly in love. In some cases, one partner is in the dark as to the real reasons for the break up. Understanding more about the type of relationship you were in could help. There are plenty of relationship books available from Steve Harvey’s Think Like a Man to Willard F. Harley’s His Needs Her Needs: Building an Affair Proof Marriage. Reading about the vital needs of men and women and how to satisfy those needs can help you for the next relationship.


Go ahead and do it! No one should feel bad about a short-lived pity party. Let me repeat: it should be short-lived. It’s a natural reaction that can help you get past the emotions running rampant inside. But you cannot cry forever; it’s an unproductive way to live. You should also consider whether you’re crying for someone who would also cry for you if the tables were turned. Writer and scholar C.S. Lewis was quoted as saying, “Crying is all right in its own way while it lasts. But you have to stop sooner or later, and then you still have to decide what to do.”


Once the waterworks are over, you must reflect on how can u be a better you. Don’t do it just for the relationship, but because we can all stand to be better. What actions caused the disconnection between you and your partner? What will you do differently next time? What have you learned from your mistakes and the mistakes of your partner? Did you overlook obvious signs that you were headed for a split?

Focus on you

Many of us have a hobby we want to take up but never felt the time was there. Or maybe it’s a matter of going to the gym or getting involved with your church or community organizations. Even though things didn’t happen the way you would’ve chosen, now you have time available to take up an extracurricular activity. You never know, it may be a chance to meet someone new, and help take your mind off the break up! Being single is ok and when you decide to start dating again, you might want to visit and see if there’s anything you could do differently which can positively impact your next relationship.

We all go through ups and downs. When it’s all said and done, just know that you’re not alone. Even though your heart may hurt for a while, talk with friends who will give you a positive outlook on life, hang out, and enjoy this journey because you never know where it may lead.


One thought on “Finding the positive

  • Kim Franklin

    This is great. I once opened up to my fairly traditional, southern friend that I don’t think I could sustain a long-term relationship with strict monogamy (on both sides, I’d want him to be happy). She looked a little taken aback but admitted that if everyone has different sexual interests and needs, why wouldn’t we all have different relationship needs? I think bringing it up in the hypothetical helped, it is easy to rationally think about it but difficult to look at two friends and not assume one of them is unhappy in the situation.

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