Just when you think maybe you’re not as affected by something, you find yourself crying three minutes into a video. I was told to find this because I’m in a short snippet around the 46th minute.

November 24, 2014 isn’t the end all. It’s obviously not the only day that matters in the movement. But for me and those closest to the injustice that is the Mike Brown case, that day was major. It was also the biggest reminder one could receive that this will all continue to play out over and over and over again until there is a greater systematic change.   

My tears are proof I’m still not over the emotions of the evening, the hurt felt mostly by the family and friends of Mike Brown but also by those who just want fairness in the eyes of the law, and I will never forget the chaos of the night and the anger and sadness felt by hundreds in the crowd.      

I remember seeing the tweets before it was announced to the crowd outside FPD that there would be no indictment.

I remember Lesley McSpadden and her family proving to us the tweets were true from their actions and words (again, all before it was officially announced the feeling of injustice smothered the air).

I’m remembering crying for a solid hour, fully clothed on my comforter (which I’d normally never do), smelling like smoke from the tear gas, but unable to do anything but lay there and cry it out.

   

I remember being so grateful schools shut down November 25 because I’d gotten only a couple hours of sleep, had the puffiest eyes ever, and I was far from being capable of teaching anyone’s child and smiling all day as if I wasn’t sick inside.           

I remember taking a photo of an empty seat during the Thanksgiving dinners in memory of all the families who lost a loved one unnecessarily.  

I honestly do not have the best memory. But all this and more, I remember as if it were a minute ago. 

According to comments, this video is the raw truth and if anyone is still wondering which came first, the uprisings or the decades of injustice and unlawful actions from the system, you will find your answer here.